Laugh a little.

As a follow up to the past few posts, this blog entry regarding how to enjoy and improve life speaks quite well to my life:

I sure have made a lot of mistakes in the last few weeks and if you want to count how many grammar mistakes I make every day, then I'm going to be amused until I'm 80!  If only grammar mistakes were a one time thing...

But business and pleasure really have a lot of business being together.  Business and pleasure go together like exercise and breathing--when doing the 20th forward lunge the breath can be hard to find, but once you breathe, you can actually make it through.  Even though sometimes parts of our life play antagonistic roles, they also have to co-exist.  This is important for me to keep as part of my life as I struggle from time to time with the purpose of certain things being so difficult.  Accomplishments are at the end if one really wants them to be, and that's what I'm keeping my eyes on...

German Uni....AHHH!

Well, I am officially a German Uni student and to accurately sum it up:  It sure ain't Elon.  This is truly the most accurate way to describe Uni Bremen.  Everything about Uni Bremen is different than Elon and as a three-week veteran, I'm not sure that's such a good thing.

Germans are typically very well educated people:  There are many more educational paths in Germany than in the United States.  In the US, our options are fairly limited to university, community college and on-the-job training.  Those options also more-or-less exist in Germany, but for those people who do not want to go to college or do not need to go to college, the chances of success are much higher.  These people usually still get a very good education through on-the-job training and academic training through a specific field or business.  The focus of study is much more concentrated, but when that person is done, he or she still has a very respectable education.

That being said, I want to extend my congratulations to every single German who ever manages to get through the system.  Bureaucracy takes on a new meaning in the German university system.  Organization, efficiency and protocols are all highly valued in the German culture, and normally I would support all three--I myself can be slightly neurotic at times.  BUT:  There is a very definitive point where efficiency for efficiency's sake works against itself.  I believe I have found that in the German Uni.  My adjustment to the German uni began in October when I took a language class there, and it is just now (November 15th) maybe coming to an end.

The best way to describe what being at a German Uni can feel like is the following.  Please try to put yourself into this situation, as a relatively confident and self-assured American, in order to understand:

When one registers for Uni Bremen she receives a student ID card.  This card is nothing more than a credit card-sized piece of paper with one's name, student number and other irrelevant details typed onto it.  This card, while needed for everything, actually does nothing.  Inevitably a student will want to use the library, but please be mindful that one is not allowed to take her belongings into the library.  Instead, one must take what she may need out of her backpack, stick it in a blue grocery basket and check the remainder at the coat check.  Do not dare bring your coat in.  At the library people normally want to use a computer.  Hold the phone.  One must first register with the library (I asked myself, I am a student, right?  Shouldn't I already be registered?).  To do that, one must first use the registration computer and enter all data about her life in Bremen then proceed to a desk.  At the desk one must present identification (which in my case had to be my passport), the resident registration with the town/state and the student ID card.  Upon successful presentation of said items, one receives a library card.  On the back of the card is a barcode that allows you to log onto the internet.  The code and password are completely different and unrelated to the email and password that already were established in order to register for classes.  Because one normally needs to print now and then, the library is the logical place.  When one logs onto to do so, a new roadblock appears:  One cannot pay for printing with the newly acquired library card. Nope, sorry.  Instead, to print, one must acquire a Mensa card, which is how you pay for food.  To do that one must go to a different office, which is only open a few hours a day, four days a week.  Upon purchase of Mensa card, you must then load money onto it with a different set of machines.  One might now be able to print if she can figure out that totally separate system.  

Now, I'm not stupid, but I'd like to meet the person who could easily remember the codes and passwords for three different sets of cards and situations.  I have never appreciated my Phoenix Card from Elon, which was used for entrance to buildings, paying for food, printing, identification and so much more, so much.  Uni Bremen has 19,000 students and Elon only had 5,000.  I would like to give Uni Bremen the benefit of the doubt that the relative chaos is due to size of the Uni, but wouldn't a large university want to have everything more streamlined?  There are so many processes at the Uni that I can't help but feel that they are all working against the efficiency of the others.  Yes, it certainly is organized and there are certainly protocols, but I think it's gone a little too far.

Now, I really do not want to complete insult the German Uni, because, besides the extreme bureaucracy, the important parts of the experience have been very positive.  The classes have so far been interesting and even though I'm not leaving the place as excited as I am after seeing the premier of a Harry Potter movie, I find the classes positive.  I am taking three classes, all in German.  It is remarkable easy to zone-out when all you're hearing is German and the effort to stay truly tuned-in the whole time is very difficult.  I find that I have no problem understanding what is being said in the moment, but my brain is working so hard to understand that moment, that it has a hard time connecting to the situation and understanding the context.  Once I lose the context of the conversation it is very hard to re-engage.

The people at the Uni are also very nice.  There are of course those frustrating people who enforce the bureaucracy and are quite unforgiving when you break protocol, but my interactions with the students and professors have been very positive.  There is also an organization called ERASMUS Initiative that organizes a whole slew of fun social events for international students.  The organization is very inclusive, has great events and makes a noticeable effort to make people feel included and welcomed.  I appreciate that a lot.

The system of the German Uni is what set me into the downward spiral of frustration mentioned in my previous post.  Adjusting to the Uni was undoubtedly the most confusing part of my time thus far, but I'm very confident similar examples will continue to happen.  Everything here needs an appointment or something similar, otherwise not much can happen.  It can be a very frustrating feeling for me, as an American who grew up in a more-or-less relaxed culture.  Of course, when we compare American culture to certain other cultures we are a very uptight and stiff culture, but certain things are more relaxed.  If I have learned anything over the last month besides German it is that in Germany I should always stand in line and make sure I'm standing in the right direction--If there is a sign that says stand to the right and you're standing behind the person in front of you, you will be cut by the three people behind and you will receive no sympathy for the five minutes you're losing.  I hate to say that my experiences here are making me less self-assured, because that's opposite of the purpose, but it has made me realize that one has to adjust to the new system.  It doesn't matter what that system is, but I suspect it is always tied very closely to culture. My year here is about living the German culture and if that means I have to slow down, remind myself that I don't know how to automatically do everything and stand behind that line, in line, even though there is no one in front of me, then that is what I need to do.

See, the German education system really is very good.

October, a direct continuation--The more fun side

Every year for the last 976 Ischa Freimarkt has happened in Bremen.  Freimarkt is a huge festival that has an Oktoberfest vibe, but is much smaller and visited by many more Germans than tourists—that’s a point for Freimarkt.  Freimarkt started out as what it phonetically sounds like—a free market.  This market was free from several normal restrictions imposed by the emperor and was held twice a year.  The October date became particularly successful because of its proximity to winter and eventually more entertainment populated the market.  Now the only vendors to be seen are those selling potato puffers (Kartoffeln Puffers), which are shredded and fried potatoes served most traditionally with apple sauce (Apfelmuss), stir-fryed mushrooms (Champigons…which smell unbelievable), bratwurst, roasted almonds (gebratene Mandeln) or practically any amazing-smelling food your heart could ever desire.  Needless to say, part of the lure of Freimarkt is eating.  There are also large tents that sell beer and have live music, like at Oktoberfest, and of course a whole host of rides.  Like American festivals, many of these attractions travel and the ferris wheel is the largest mobile ferris wheel in Europe!  Despite my fear of heights, I did ride it, allowing for cool views of Bremen. 

            Freimarkt is ripe with tradition. (as anything would be after 976 years!  Everyone close to my family knows how many traditions we have for Popham Beach and we’ve only been going 18 years…).  On the second Saturday of Freimarkt was the  Umzug (parade).  On the beautiful fall day I went to the Umzug with a small group of friends and watched for two-and-a-half hours as float after float after float passed by and literally bombed the onlookers with candy…another Freimarkt tradition!  We stayed for 140 floats and there were still more as far as I could see.  I forgot to bring a bag to collect all the candy (or Bönchen), but most of the little kids did not.  It was so sweet to see the little kids with a massive clothing shopping bag more than half full of bonbons.  As I left the Umzug I was very grateful I am not responsible for those children and their candy consumption for the rest of the month.

            Another highlight of October was going to Munich with my friend Nadine, her mom and her mom’s best friend for the “Vereidigung” of Nadine’s brother.  Nadine’s brother is the Luftwaffe and after the first three months the soldiers must decide if they want to continue along that path.  The Vereidigung is when they publically declare that they will serve and protect Germany.  Very few people get to go onto the Luftwaffe base and the Vereidigung is one of the few exceptions.  It was a completely fascinating and unique experience.  I know very little about our own military, which that weekend showed me, but to me it is, on the surface, one of the most patriotic things one can do for their country.  Germany is not a country that puts much value on patriotism; therefore I found it very interesting to watch this ceremony from an American’s perspective.  If one were to ask me, I would say being a part of the any military, despite one’s reasoning, is a patriotic act.  One thing that I was questioned about in October was American patriotism.  I believe many non-Americans find our patriotism strange, but upon reflection, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.  Patriotism to me is appreciating what American citizenship has given me and that is so much more than many countries can ever hope for.  Yes, along with patriotism should come humbleness and self-awareness, but I do think it’s important to take pride in your country and recognize, with humility, the fortune we have as Americans. 

            One last crazy thing about October—my bike got locked in the center of the city.  I was eating dinner with a couple of friends and when I went to ride home I could not unlock my bike—the key could no longer go into the lock.  Most people in Bremen worry about the opposite problem—bike theft—but on this Monday night (actually the Day of German Reunification), I was faced with the opposite problem.  To make it “funnier,” my host parents were in Italy.  After three days of thinking, I finally had the time to go to the police station and explain my problem.  Here’s a sample of the conversation:
Me:  Um, yes, hello.  My bike is locked in the center of the city—by the pigs.  [There is a pig statue]
Police:  Really, hmm.  Well, you need to cut it off.
Me:  Yes, I know, but it’s a really big lock.
Police:  A pair of lock cutters should be enough.
Me:  No, I don’t think so.  It’s a really big lock, and my host parents aren’t here so I don’t have a pair.
Police:  Do you have neighbors??
Me:  Yes, of course I do…but’s a really, really thick lock.  It’s, like, probably 5 centimeters thick [this was after anxiously estimating what I can remember of how big a centimeter is].
Police: OK [sounding exasperated]...Stay there, we’ll send some people.

I was vindicated 10 minutes later when the police came with the lock cutter (which I could instantly tell was too small), took one look at the lock and declared, “Wow, that’s a properly thick lock!!”  After 10 more minutes of unsuccessfully cutting through the lock another police office completely apparated and magically had the ability to cut through that “properly thick” lock.  Within two minutes I was cruising on my way back home, one lock down, but luckily not one bike down. 

            October was not a month of loud, exciting adventures, such as Amsterdam and Oktoberfest, but I think it was an extremely important month.  Being abroad is not supposed to be easy, despite how cool it seems.  Yes it is cool, but it’s not easy and I think it’s important for one to acknowledge that.  I understand that to observers it might be hard to believe me when I say it’s hard—I do make it seem pretty glamorous through the pictures and blog posts.  But it really is the craziest roller coaster I have ever been on and my prior international experience did not even prepare me for this.  Along those coaster tracks were great moments, moments that made me want to scream and moments of balance and relative peace.  The ups-and-downs of October undoubtedly came with the international territory, but what really matters is how you feel when you arrive back in that roller coaster station—Are you eager to rejoin the line for the second (or fourth) ride, or do you need to get off and get the heck outta there?  Luckily, for me I don’t have much choice and all the positive moments are enough to make me want to choose the former.  

October--The Serious Side

October was a month of change—Truly from the first day until the last with the start of German Uni.  The month started with my friends from the first phase of my program leaving Bremen for a new city.  All but me and another girl left Bremen and then 4 new people came.  This month was a little like the roller coasters at the huge, traditional Bremen festival Freimarkt—One moment things were up and literally 30 seconds later they could be careening downward in a mass full of frustrated and explosive inertia. 

To the neutral observer, I am living the post-college dream--Move to another country for a while, meet new people and most importantly procrastinate becoming an adult.  I will admit, I'm pretty dang lucky, and I am living a dream.  For a long time going overseas was in the back of my brain.  So yes, I am undisputedly lucky, but there is no denying, though, that any post-grad is going to have tough times being away from home, friends and adjusting in general.  When I was excitedly planning on ditchin’ the US, I did not fully appreciate what it means to leave college friends.  I now understand what you can never truly grasp when you’re still with your friends—When you are no longer in college, you will miss your friends, and you will be surprised in how many ways.  Add an Atlantic Ocean and you’ve got yourself a challenge. 

Through the last two months something very interesting had been missing from my thoughts and feelings—the feeling of being foreign.  October changed that.  Because Uni Bremen didn’t start until the last week of October so I took another language class.  Unlike my CASA language classes, in this class I was one of only three Americans.  This had an interesting effect on me.  In class I was surrounded by young people from all over Europe—from Slovenia to Norway.  All these people come from different cultures and customs, but they have something I do not have:  They are Europeans.  Sure, each European country is vastly different, but they are still Europeans, just like Germans.  I, however, am not.  I can never be a European; it’s impossible.  All of sudden the missing thought hit—I am foreign.  I am not German and I’m not even European.  This means I am perhaps the most foreign person in the class.  If I think of myself as foreign, then surely everyone I have met already considers me that.  I think about all the exchange students from high school and college and realize I am that new person that everyone knows is foreign and probably calls “the exchange student,” without really remembering the actual name.   

            Perhaps being foreign is not important to some people, but I think it is important here.  Sure, if I wanted I could move to Germany, find work, improve my painfully obvious American accent (I’d be rich if I had a dime for every time someone says to me, “You’re American right?  I could tell by the accent.”) and integrate.  But the “foreigner” title is something harder to shake.  At the beginning of October I watch Turkish dance at a Turkish appreciation event in the middle of the city.    By the end of their exhibition at least 9 members from the audience were up on the stage dancing with the girls.  Integration is a very big theme in Germany and much of Europe.  Along with the expectation of integration comes the question of how much of one's own culture one should give up.  As I watched the dancers and audience members I felt like it was a special moment.  These girls were doing something special from their culture, but sharing it with the community.  In return, the audience embraced their contribution and joined in with their own version.  This really made me think about my own integration in Germany.  In an earlier post I talked about if an American could ever be German, but now I’m wondering how much an American should want to be completely German.  Despite the negative things said and assumed about Americans in much of world, don’t we have valuable parts of our culture that should be preserved?  I definitely think we do.  I am a foreigner, but that might not always be a bad thing.

            During the month of October I spent a lot of time in my own head and had conflicting feelings about my own national identity and adjusting to German culture.  Even though I’ve been here for over 100 days now, I know that I experienced more culture shock in October than before.  It’s an interesting feeling thinking constantly about a language, trying constantly to blend in and finally realizing that where you are is not your home.  Sure, it’s a home for now, but how can one feel at home when she simultaneously feels so foreign?