Oh
where to start, where to start!
The last months of my year in Bremen and Europe were filled to the brim
with action, train rides and hostel rooms. Good thing my trusty backpack from 6th grade was
along the entire time as my sidekick!
The thing with my light-purple backpack from LL Bean is, it is really old, and I really should get a new one.
But, I just can’t! This
backpack has covered so many countries, states and experiences with me, that I
could not just not bring it with me for the year. And boy, am I glad I did bring it.
Every
weekend from May to the middle of July when I flew back to the US, I was doing
something different. It started
with traveling, canoeing and working for my internship on the boat cruise and
ended with traveling with old friends, new friends and friends I hope to know
for many years to come.
The
best way to catch this blog up and wrap up my year of where me and backpack
were, is to break it down into months, so, first up would be May and the boat
cruise.
The
weeks and days leading up to the boat tour were full and intense, though my
days were undoubtedly much easier than those Frauke battled through! The scale of this project split between
a small number of people was truly impressive and ambitious. Frauke took on so many projects as her
own responsibility that I am quite sure the relief I felt after the tour was
over is only a small fraction of what Frauke felt.
To our immense satisfaction, the
boat tour really went extremely well.
Of course, we had the normal blips expected during the “dress rehearsal”
(for lack of a better word) and then an issue hitting ground in one of the
ports, but by the time the rarely-warm Bremen sun was setting in the late May
sky on the opening night, nerves were running high, but everyone was ready and
excited. My role was to plaster a
massive smile on my face and find my nicest German greetings to welcome the
guests onto the boat and deal with those who were unlucky enough to not get
tickets. As soon as our boat, the
MS Friedrich, which is over 100 years old, pulled away from the dock I hopped
on my bike and rode through the district to the head of the other remaining
port. An hour later when the boat
arrived after completing approximately half of the tour, I greeted the boat at
the dock along with either Bremen’s very own ukulele orchestra (definitely a
highlight of the experience!), a classic sea-hymns choir or old-fashioned
accordion music. At this point
three lucky passengers got to clamber off-board for our very own food competition
between the two restaurants at the port’s head. Two of the fellow actors led the volunteers through an
“adventure of tastes from Bremen’s ports.” It was funny and fun to hear the impromptu reactions the
passengers had to the sights, smells and tastes of the very traditional, north
German food of scrambled eggs, small shrimp and pan-fried potatoes from the old
restaurant compared to the much fancier, experimental cuisine of focaccia with
pork slices, asparagus, arugula and creamy pesto from the Italian restaurant
named after the use of the old building it inhabits: Die Feuerwache (the fire station). And the greatest part of the food probe? I got to share the extras with the
others on the dock as the boat pulled away. J
The rest of the tour included much silliness,
singing, interviews about the area’s development and vintage photos collected
from the many people who donated their time and stories. At the end of the seventh night, I was
delighted to have the tour over, but also very satisfied by what we all had
accomplished together. People
raved about the uniqueness of the boat cruise and I am proud of my involvement
with such a special project. The
greatest confirmation of the success was the demand for over 400 tickets we
could not provide, therefore leading into a two-evening repetition of the
entire cruise upon a larger boat!
When the tour was over I went to sleep in a cloud of exhaustion, but
also happiness because of what I had helped accomplish, the great people I met
through the challenge and the knowledge that in two short days my dad would be
flying into the Amsterdam to meet me for our own, exciting, new adventure.
On
the verge of flying back to the United States, an entire year out of college
and an entire year away from the country, I am still sometimes amazed that I
left the country for the year. I
do not know if anyone ever expected that of me, let alone if I ever
realistically expected that of myself.
Leaving the country always seemed like a thing people much braver than
me, people much less attached to people and physical things than me, and people
much happier with much less than me, do.
Perhaps I envision them as such because to me those people do not seem
vulnerable. I know am vulnerable—I
draw strength and energy from my friends and family. I like living in a place that I have made my own. Without those constants my footing is
like that in a strong riptide: One
second solid and OK, the next second not evening being able to distinguish
where my feet are. Therefore I see little of myself in
those voyagers.
I
knew that when I decided to go to Germany for the year—That I am a vulnerable
and emotional person. I look back
on my decision process and I remember even saying things like, “I know it’ll be
hard and a big adjustment, but I want to do it.” I said those things so casually, like I was just saying them
out of obligation, not like I really believed them. I wonder if I had been able to transplant some of the
emotions I have felt this year into my brain as a second semester senior in
college, surrounded by more people who care about me than ever before, if I
would have been so gun-ho. It is,
however, an undoubtedly very good thing I could not accurately foresee this
year.
As
another PPPler once summed up the year very well to me: This year has been lessons in
loneliness. Never in my life have
I ever spent so many moments by myself, alone in my head and with my own
thoughts. Except for those truly
rare super-humans—the ones I imagine as the perpetual traveler—for most people
an extended time away from your home country, culture and language strips away
the footings you have built over the last decades of your life, paving the way
for emotions you may never have felt before. The new paved street also makes way for many
positives, but I will get to that.
I have been reflecting on this a
lot in the recent weeks because of my own recent history and the fact that I
have now been away from Elon for more than a year. But also because of an article I read, written by a 2012
Yale Graduate. This girl, Mariana,
wrote for the Yale student newspaper and wrote a special feature discussing the
“opposite of loneliness” she and her fellow graduates felt in their last weeks
at Yale. Mariana failed to find a
word to describe this feeling and the right world fails me as well, but the
meaning and implications are obvious:
It is like being constantly surrounded by a warm nest of soft blankets
in the form of people you know and have shared a small, but deeply valuable,
part of your life with. At college
everywhere you look are people who are all there, working at the university,
for the sole purpose of educating you and your fellow students so you, too, can
taste and experience success. Then
there are your advisers who you build personal relationships with, whom you
show pictures of your adorable triplet cousins to and in front of whom you break
down in tears the day before graduation.
And then there are the students.
I did not know the names of everyone I graduated with, but there was
rarely a walk across campus without seeing someone I knew. Then when I came “home” at the end of
the night, roommates and friends surrounded me. My nest was so warm and snug that there was barely any room
for loneliness.
Leaving Elon was like slowing
taking away the first couple of layers from the nest and then flying to Germany
was like ripping off several more, leaving me more exposed than ever
before. But. I was never without some layers of my
nest. I now believe it was
the firm existence of my nest that gave me the bravery to decide to “just go”
for the year and do something I could not really understand. My nest was built by 22 years of love
and friendship and I knew that one year away—one measly year in hopefully a
long life—would not change anything that I did not want changed.
In her article, Mariana, writes
about her fears and worries about leaving her “opposite of loneliness” at Yale
and having to take away layers just like I had to do this year and just like
every graduate must do.
Tragically, though, Mariana will not experience this exposure, seeing as
she died in a car crash shortly before graduation. As a girl only a few months older than Mariana, a
22-year-old dying strikes a powerful fear in my heart. I know little about Mariana’s death,
but one thing that I have thought about since reading her article is that she
died at one the highest happiness peaks of her life. She will not need to feel the sadness and loneliness that
comes with leaving the college nest.
In one respect, that is an enormous blessing.
But fear is struck in my heart and
my heart breaks for Mariana and her family because after this year I can say it
was not only lessons in loneliness, but rather, lessons learned from
loneliness. Call me crazy, but
loneliness is not a bad thing. I
cannot help but wonder if Mariana would have learned the lessons this next year
as I have learned this past year. Yes,
loneliness brought me to tears and made me question why I wanted to do this
year anyway. So I wanted to learn
German. Well, I thought to myself,
is this really worth it? I made
some wonderful friends fairly early in the year and I always had my PPP net
(which is more valuable than I can express), but there were times when as soon
as I stepped onto that tram to go back to Oberneuland (my neighborhood) and my
host family’s house, the trap seemed to close again.
It was about January when I finally
could not stand it anymore and became so frustrated at what I labeled as lack
of progress. Sitting at the table
in my host family’s kitchen with my mom eating breakfast the day before she
left I broke into tears and could not stop crying for over an hour. It was through that conversation
with my mom I realized I was not the only one who had ever felt that way
before. Being lonely happens. After my mom flew home and I was faced
with the reality that I still had six months in Germany and that it was up to
me to make those months good, I began to realize that maybe I had been focusing
on the wrong things. Sure, I was
lonely, no question. I had much
too much free time on my hands and my social calendar could not hold a flame to
my life at Elon, but I began to realize, that is not necessarily bad. And these feelings were not exclusively
mine! I began to really realize
that what my friends at home had expressed was also loneliness and even though
I already knew and appreciated that, it made me realize that I was not failing
at my year abroad. To fail means
to first have set standards of achievement. I will admit I had a few of those, but in hindsight I was so
foolish to do so. Success is not a
calculable number, not in this scenario.
I was trying to put a quantitative value on something that hardly even
fits into such categories. I
realized, one can’t just do that to oneself! Loneliness is a very normal emotion and if you go through
life expecting never to feel it, then you are going to hit a bottom that is a
lot harder than that moment where you cry to your mom over your bread and
marmalade for an hour.
That is what I have learned this
year. That is what is loneliness
has taught me: You deal with
it. You have those moments where
you want to crawl in bed and fall asleep because then no one will care that
your social calendar has large gaps of unplanned time. Sure you give in sometimes and just go
to sleep, but for me that could only happen so many times before I realized that
I was hiding, trying to find those pieces of my nest that were unreachable,
because they were in the US.
I would not say that I do not have
moments where I am still lonely.
Of course I do. But now I
gained a perspective that only comes with time and honest talks with those you
trust. When I arrived on August 1,
2011 in Frankfurt I had only experienced a little bit of loneliness in my
life. I had no idea what I was
facing, but I will say it again, here I am. I made it through.
I think my biggest tool in fighting loneliness has been the strength to
not give in, the perspective to revaluate and the wear-with-all to just keep
going. Emotions are extremely
strong, but they do not control us.
We have power to affect our own happiness, you just need to figure out
what it is that makes you happy.
These are characteristics are innate
in people; I am not particularly special because I am abroad and have been
thousands of miles away from my family and friends. I mean, heck, I could be a whole lot farther from the US and
in a much tougher country to live in.
These characteristics just need to be found. I sincerely wonder what sort of loneliness I would have felt
this year without making the separation larger and, even more, I wonder how
long it would have taken me to learn these lessons. This is exactly why I keep thinking of Mariana and her
tragically cut-short life.
Twenty-two years is not long enough to learn the lessons that make
people wise. I know now, more than
ever, that I still have much to learn.
I cannot even begin to imagine what I have left to learn. But I genuinely encourage people if
they want to learn something and want to be challenged, go abroad. You might not like the lessons and you
might not like the teaching styles, but through those crazy roller coaster
moments and stomach-flipping bends and curves, you are learning. I promise you, you are learning.
(This post was written almost a month ago with the intention of being posted much sooner. With that caveat...enjoy.)
Throughout
this year I have realized that I may finally be ready to be a real person and
work at a real job.You know, the
kind of job where I get paid and will actually get that extremely adult thing
called health insurance not provided by your dad.I have actually experienced moments where finding a
full-time job excites me, but what still depresses me is the work
schedule.Why can´t life
just be a series of awesome weekends?Would we not all just be a little happier in that world?OK, so I will admit, work should and
hopefully does for many bring a sort of satisfaction.And for those people I would be willing to make a deal:4 day work weeks and 3 day weekends.In that world Hump Day (Wednesday for
those of you who are not aware of its real name) would not even need to
exist!It could also take a break
and not even need to be a whole day:Hump Day would be more like „sleeping Tuesday night,“ and since sleeping
is almost everyone’s favorite activity, that sounds like a good world.
So,
why am I even thinking of those things?Well, simply because from the end of April to the middle of May I had such
a solid series of weekends.Work
had been categorically stressful (and became even more so at the end of the
month) with the different projects for Christel and Frauke, but each week I was
pulled through by the thought that before long I´d be escaping that stress for
two or more days and enjoying a real weekend.On to my first weekend...
During
the last weekend in April I took a night train from Bremen to Saarbrücken,
which is the capital of the province Saarland and also almost directly on the
French border.This area was where
my German class in 2005 did our exchange, so as I rode the train to Saarbrücken
I actually recognized many train station names.It was neat to be in that area six years later and, just as
I had remembered, the natural beauty of that area is its gem.I was very excited for this weekend because
my good friend from the language school phase (and with whom I’ve traveled
several times), Morgan, has been in Saarbrücken since October.As you may remember, most PPPlers moved
in October to their final placement.
Since
I took an over-night train to save money and time, Morgan met me at the train
station and we went directly to a cafe for breakfast, probably my favorite
meal.This was no ordinary
breakfast, though—This cafe has pancakes.I have never mentioned it, but one of
the foods I have been continually wanting this entire year is a nice, fluffy,
buttermilk pancake with maple syrup on top.It is funny to me that I miss them so much considering all
of the incredible food Europe has to offer and which I have more than happily
eaten.But anyway, this pancake,
unfortunately, did not exactly fit my preferred description, but with its
freshly cute fruit and honey drizzled on top, I had very little to complain
about.
Morgan
and I spent the rest of the day poking around Saarbrücken, shopping even though
we shouldn’t have, and preparing for Ginny’s, another friend from language
school who lives in Mainz (south of Frankfurt), 21st birthday celebration.
After
a great evening eating with Morgan’s lovely host family (who are actually
Polish, but have lived in Germany for over 20 years) and a really fun night
with Morgan’s super fun Saarbrücken friends, we went to work early on Saturday
on our birthday preparations.One
of the drawbacks of living with a host family or in an apartment that is
equipped for the non-cooks of the world, getting to bake fun, interesting
looking recipes is not a usual occurrence.For that reason, Morgan and I happily volunteered to make
the cupcakes for Ginny.Per usual,
given the different ingredients, the cupcakes did not taste just as we had hoped,
but they did look pretty dang awesome, with their green, blue, red and yellow
batters.As I often want to tell
German homeowners when I walk into their „white and white and white all-over
houses,“ more color is rarely a bad
thing.These cupcakes fit the
bill. J
Seeing
as this Saturday was the first day over 70 degrees I had experienced since
September, the train without air condition was less than a comfortable ride,
but despite everything we made it to Mainz, ready for a good birthday party and
the food Ginny had promised to prepare.An hour later and three PPPlers more, the party was started and we spent
an extremely enjoyable evening in Mainz outside, bar-hopping and sitting on the
Rhein.Spring in Germany is just
about the most wonderful thing about this country.
Late
Sunday I caught a ride back to Bremen, sad that the best weekends go so fast,
but already looking forward to the next weekend adventure.
Five
days later I was back on the German train system riding southwest to Aachen, in
North Rhein-Westphalia.Aachen is
where our first exchange student, Friederike’s, brother is studying, and since
he offered to show me around NRW, I jumped on the chance!
Despite
the continual rain the entire weekend, it was easy to see that Aachen is a very
charming, small city.There is
still a considerable amount of older German architecture and I simply really
enjoyed the city layout.The “old
city“ is much larger than Bremen’s and almost everything can be reached by
foot.There is also a natural water
spring in Aachen that, like most water springs in Germany, is popular for its
healthy qualities.Christian, my
host, told me that Aachen’s name was almost changed to Bad Aachen (pretty much
the equivalent of naming it Spa Aachen), but the town voted against it because
then the town would lose its first-place alphabetical position in lists!If I wanted my PPP friends and I could
analyze that to the last detail for German idiosyncrasies, but I won’t, because
I like Germans. J
The
cathedral in Aachen is also well worth the visit and I was personally astounded
by the intricate mosaic that dominates the interior.In almost every German town the standard things to do are,
go to the church and climb the highest point in the town.Since I have seen numerous German
cities, I have seen plenty of cathedrals, but I found Aachen’s cathedral
particularly stunning, from outside and inside.
Later
that day we went to the “drei Ländereck,“ which is where the Netherlands,
Belgium and Germany share a border.This point is also, amusingly, the highest point in the Netherlands at
something like 300 meters above sea level.I have said before that Northern Germany is that flattest
place I have ever been, but lest I forget, the Netherlands also shares this rather
honorary distinction.One thing
that I particularly love about Europe is the preservation of cultures and
traditions of each country.It is
no exaggeration when I say that as soon as we crossed into the Netherlands the
architecture of the buildings changed and look distinctly different from Germany.The same goes for Belgium.Needless to say, these differences are
simply charming.
That
weekend we also visited Maastricht, a city in the Netherlands (whose
architecture was so similar to Amsterdam’s) and also went to Julich, where we
visited a fort from post-Renaissance Germany and finally to Cologne.Just like the good tourist I am, I
climbed every step to the top of (one of) the cathedrals famously high and
ornately Gothic steeple.The
cathedral from inside was not as I would have expected it, considering only the
day before Aachen’s had blown me away, but the outside is the real treasure.There is a clear reason why this architecture
is world-renowned.
Like
every weekend, I had to end up back in Bremen at some point and was happy to do
so.However, every time I leave my
little northwest corner I realize yet again how much Germany has to offer and
what beauty is hidden in every corner.Aachen and the land around are wonderful examples of what treasures are
hidden in Germany, even at its last corners.
Now,
finally to my last weekend.Since
I would imagine you are a little tired of reading and I am definitely over
typing this blog, I will quickly summarize my perfect little canoeing weekend:
My
friend Sophie grew up in the part of Bremen called the “Blockland,” which is
the area that was historically turf fields and farm.This area is so incredibly beautiful and each time I am
there I am continually amazed this wonderful oasis lies so close to the bustle
and crowd of Bremen.Two weekends
ago Sophie and I did a canoeing course and trip hosted by the canoeing club
next to her house and the restaurant her family owns.After a Saturday of paddling instruction (I had no idea it
was so complicated!), we had a 27 kilometer (16 mile) boat tour on Sunday.The excitement and energy Sophie and I
started with was long gone by the time we got to the 20th kilometer,
but eventually we finished the breathtakingly beautiful canoe tour on the Wümmel and through the turf canals,
and then promptly rewarded ourselves with organic ice cream from a neighboring
farm.
With
all the traveling I am blessed to do, it is sometimes easy to forget what
wonders Bremen has to offer.Just
today I went swimming in a lake, which is essentially in the middle of Bremen,
but somehow maintains its peace and tranquility.This is just one of the few reasons I have become so fond of
Bremen and, as my traveling has shown me, these treasures are to be found all
over Germany.
When I embarked on this 12-month adventure/change of pace I promised to keep this blog. Truth be told, I expected there to be a lot more to write about. I have done a good amount of traveling, but besides traveling, I am pretty much just living life in Germany like I have lived for the past four years—going to school then doing an internship. Granted, my life here is much more dimensional than that, but unless people wanted to read a blog that sounded more like a personal emotional diary, there is not too much new every week to write. If those reading want a more emotional-diary-like experience, I suggest you call my mom and ask her to fill you in. She’ll be able to give you that side of things.
My life has taken on a relatively normal nature in Germany; in a way that is a huge advancement, considering that means I am living life in another country and it has taken on notes of normalcy. I would not have expected that even just 4 months ago. This is good news for my level of comfort, but it does make blogging challenging. Despite that, though, I have written the following according to those awesome “number graphics” in magazines like Time and Newsweek, in order to give you a little overview of what is contributing to my momentary life.
2: The amount of minutes it takes me to get from my apartment to my office at work, if I am really rushing. I love having a bike in Bremen and between my (almost) trusty bike and the new spectacular living location I can whiz around Bremen. I love this freedom and spontaneity; my level of happiness in Bremen has skyrocketed.
6: The number of evenings in May for the Bremen ports boat tour. I have written previously that Frauke and I are planning a boat tour through the Bremen ports, and now it is coming up! For 2.5 hours 6 evenings in a row we will be inviting people on an 100-year-old tour ship, the MS Friederich. During the course of the trip the guests will learn little tidbits from the old port and surrounding area’s history (think lots of bars, drinking and perhaps even a few prostitutes…), see close-up the largest development project in Europe as Bremen attempts to transfer the ports into a lively new part of the city, and be entertained by live music, actors and small films with real and dramatic characters of the Überseestadt.
7: The number of days I was working at the Dance Bremen (Tanz Bremen) Festival and also (non) coincidentally the longest 7 days I have experienced in Bremen. Christel, my other boss, was in charge of the PR/Marketing for Tanz Bremen, and through her I was pulled onto the team, working with the artists, organizing the press table, and working in the festival center cleaning up, serving food, and generally waiting around until enough people had left for me to leave. It was a very long week and I was absolutely exhausted afterwards, but it was also extremely worth it. I got to see 5 incredible dance pieces 100 percent for free, I met a whole group of lovely people and I was provided dinner for an entire week (which was delicious!). It was a long week of international dances and dancers and I was very happy when it was over, but it was an amazing experience and a huge cultural highlight of my time here. I cannot complain that my internship is not dynamic enough!
3.5 and 2,500: The bad news: Sometimes an internship is an internship and that means busy work. 3.5 is the number of hours I spent in a copy shop working on the media report for the Tanz Bremen Festival that Christel and I are making from the media hits, of which there are hundreds. 2,500 is the number of advertisement flyers for the boat tour that I stuffed into Bremen city magazines. This required that I stand for 3.5 hours before a large palette piled with boxes of magazines not yet enlightened about the “newest cultural event in the Überseestadt.“ Both these assignments were really not fun, but they are important. And hey, if an intern can’t do it, who can?!
8: The number of PPPlers who had a big ole’ reunion in Magdeburg a few weekends ago. My friend Isabel has been in Magdeburg ever since she left Bremen in October, and kindly hosted my language school friends and me the last weekend in March. Two other PPPlers, Joe and Clayton, also live in Magdeburg, rounding out PPPler numbers 7 and 8, and bringing together the fun-filled, East-German style weekend. Magdeburg happens to be the city where Lara lived for a year when she did my program (at the time I suppose it was her program and I’m actually doing her program!), and also where my family visited for a few days when we did our Europe trip several years ago (10 to be exact!). Even though I don’t remember much from what it looked like then, I am confident to say Magdeburg has come a long way. Magdeburg was more than 70 percent destroyed from World War II and then damaged further by the Communist occupation. Needless to say, Magdeburg still bears many scars of history and is a quintessential example of an East German city. That being said, what I saw in March is without question a much improved and more beautiful Magdeburg than what we saw when I was 11. East Germany still receives huge amounts of money from West Germany for rebuilding, even though Germany has now been reunified for over 21 years. Many former-East German cities have prospered enormously, but others, like Magdeburg, are still working on finding a stable economy and independence from this assistance. Eastern German cities are also said, however, to be much more alternative and be welcoming of the “alternative scene.” I personally cannot attest for that because, as most people know, I am about the least “alternative” person out there, but with the help of Isabel’s skillful tour guiding I, too, was able to see a glimpse of this inadvertent, but interesting, growth of culture. The weekend in Magdeburg was great because of my wonderful friends, Joe’s birthday party/Mexican feast and new sights to see, but I was also happy to return to Bremen. Bremen may have its ugly areas and as a city/state it is also quite poor, similar to Magdeburg, but I have a pretty good life here and I certainly can’t complain about Bremen’s cultural and leisure time offerings!
4+ who knows: The number of hours our Easter Fire burned. What is an Easter Fire, you ask? I should not have been surprised, but I admittedly was a little, to hear about this tradition. I should not have been surprised because there is hardly a holiday or birthday in Germany that does not have some sort of old and charming tradition and Easter is, in fact, no different. The Easter Fire is essentially an enormous bonfire, which reminds me greatly of the fires people light on their property to burn brush. This is, essentially, what an Easter Fire is, but according to Wikipedia it has roots in the Liturgy as a symbolic representation of the Light of God/Israel leading people to Jesus/the Church. I cannot be sure, but I would bet this is not what is going through most people’s heads these days as they pop open a Beck’s, bite into a bratwurst and light the massive brush pile, but it certainly is a practical way to get rid of brush in the yard! This year I spent Easter with the Bergs family. Friederike Bergs was my family’s first ever exchange student. During my family’s Europe trip we also visited the Berg’s, so technically I have known this family since I was 11. The Berg’s live in mid-west Germany, but they have an old farmhouse “on the land” in Ostfriesland, which is about 1.5 hours west of Bremen and towards the North Sea. For the weekend I took a train to Ostfriesland and Christian, their son, met me and picked me up. Later in the day it was our assignment, along with Siegfried (the father), to build the Easter Fire. After several hours of collecting wood and driving the tractor around (with me as driver!!) the Easter Fire was ready for “light-off.” In the evening we ate würstchen (small bratwursts), which in my opinion are hot dogs, and yummy potato salad. We all went to bed towards midnight, but the coals were glowing and emitting considerable warmth well into Easter Sunday and probably into Monday as well. It was quite a sight to see the orange light from surrounding farms, as they too lit their own brush pile. The remainder of the Easter weekend was also extremely pleasant and filled with great food, conversation and a fascinating tour an inland cruise ship factory. I have not spent an Easter at home in four years, but if I can spend Easter out in the fresh air of Northwestern Germany with great company, food and traditions, then I don’t think it is a bad tradeoff!
12: The number of weeks/weekends left until I fly back to the US of A. The next 12 weeks are absolutely going to fly at the speed of light—Not only is three months really not that long in comparison to how long I have been here, but I also have plans for almost every single weekend! I am looking forward very much to all my exciting plans and of course to my Dad’s 12-day visit in June (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), but it is also a little shocking to think I can count how much longer I will be here. I have a little anxiety that I am not going to finish everything I wanted to do, but I also know that some Europeans spend their entire lives on this continent and see less than I have in my travels. I am quite satisfied with how I have lived this year and I do think there will be a strong feeling of accomplishment when I board the plane in Frankfurt and disembark into the crazy world of New York City. After a year in the calmer and, in my opinion, far more enjoyable German cities, I think my program could have picked a less hectic place to plunge us back into our American life! I am sure I will have much more to say as July 16th nears and I prepare to really leave Bremen, but right now all I can say is, I know it will be with seriously mixed feelings: I adore Europe and Germany and I find the quality of life here extremely high, but the problem is, I have other pictures in my head that I know better than Bremen. Connected to those pictures are 22 years of smells, sounds, emotions and touch. Those senses of home do not easily abandon a person. It is hard to replace the strongest types of memories with a new home and since my time here is limited, that takeover is not possible. I think for some people that transition is easier, but I personally have a very strong sense of home and am therefore one of the many in my program who will be partially sad but also very happy to board the plan for America.
4.22.12 8:38: The times the sun set today, Sunday April 22nd. OK, that is definitely something I can’t complain about—Europe wins the competition on most beautiful, useful and refreshing daylight. :)
I have always been a thinker. Which means more that I get stuck on a thought in my head and can't quite get past it. Sometimes this is good but often it leads to needless worrying. When I get these thoughts out, usually through talking to trusted people in my life, my brain clears somewhat. Somehow after these refreshing and reenergizing conversations I always seem to stumble upon quotes that other people have gathered or that I somewhere found and liked. This year has been full of many repeating thoughts and definitely full of themes. These are a few quotes that give me energy, seem to summarize the themes of my thoughts or are motivating me behind the scenes.
"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
~Eleanor Roosevelt
"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
~Isaiah 40:30-31
"So this is the part where I'm supposed to tell you it's not scary. Well it is. But fear is natural, fear is good--it just means you're growing."
"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours- it is an amazing journey and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins."
-Bob Moawad
"We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson (Isn't he just the smartest man??)
I think one of the most annoying sayings that people implement when giving advice is, “Life is full of change.”I honestly really don’t like hearing that.I know life is full of change, but it does not count in my book as explaining away everything and making it OK.OK, so yeah, maybe it is true and maybe acceptance is actually the best policy, but it still irritates me.Which is why it also kind of bugs me that I am about to use that phrase to sum up what has happened in the last 2.5 months of my blog-absenteeism.
As I and as all recent college grads know so well, life really is full of change, whether we want to acknowledge it or not.I’m personally more of a fan of unacknowledgement, which is why the fact that I would be leaving Elon on May 22nd did not fully sink in until about May 20th.Then it was bad news and I was a little bit of a mess.Well, the pace of change has barely slowed to take a breath since then and in the last 10 months I’ve moved away from Elon, back home, then to Bremen, Germany then again recently.
So, to bring everyone on to the same page, I’ll give you a quick ‘low down of what my last few months has looked like:
1.In January I finished my time at the University (thank goodness.) and wrapped up that phase of the program.(It’s worth repeating, thank goodness.)
2. At the end of January I stayed with my cousin Bethany, at her house with her family in Frankfurt.I had not seen Bethany for at least 10 years and now I have the pricelessly comforting knowledge that I have family in Germany.
3. In February I went to my last German class.Considering taking German for at least one day every week since the beginning of August, this is a HUGE deal.Finally I am set free!Though, when I go back to the US the first thing I’m going to do is sign myself up for German grammar and writing courses.
4.I had American visitors!! My mom came in January for 12 days and then my brother and great friend from Elon, Marisa, came in February.You all don’t have the attention span that could last long enough for me to explain how incredible it was to have these visitors.
5. I started my internship!As I think I have explained, with my program we are all obligated to do a five-month internship.I really can’t believe I’m already in the second month of it!I love my internship so far; it is teaching me so much about other fields in public relations and it is also giving me an excellent new taste for Bremen! (Literally and figuratively—I know have a very good idea of where the best chai teas are here.)I’m working for two self-employed woman, Frauke and Christel, who are friends and support each other in their respective work when possible.Frauke and I are planning a boat tour through the Bremen ports, which will take place in May, and for Christel I do fairly normal PR work in support of her cultural events within the city.The work is very interesting and I really enjoy it.The boat tour with Frauke combines city development, history, theater, music and more.The tour is extremely unique and I will definitely take a lot away from being involved with it.Considering I have already done two internships in the U.S. and am now a “college graduate,” I really wanted to use this internship time for something new and different.The last thing I wanted to do while in Germany was spend the majority of my day in an office.While I do spend a good amount of time indoors (which is OK because Bremen still is cloaked in gray 80 percent of the time), my time with my bosses includes so much other work and other people.It really is exactly how I wanted to use my internship time.
5.The biggest change of all:I moved.Yes, that’s right.I no longer live with a host family.The nitty gritty details behind my move make for a VERY long story, but I am so happy to have moved.To be perfectly clear:I did not move because I did not get along well with my host family.Quite the opposite, actually.I had a very nice relationship with my host mom and when I was thinking about moving, I thought a long time about the decision because of that.I did, ultimately, decide a move would be worth trying to get permission for.My program finally agreed, which was only made possible because my internship is so event-oriented and requires me so often to be available in the evening to work.Where I lived was a 35 or more minute transit into or out of the city center, which was fine on normal occasions, but the public transportation stops running at 12:30am five out of the seven days of the week.So, with the encouragement and help on my bosses, just two weeks after looking at the most perfect apartment I was moving in with the help of some friends.In Germany most young people live in what is called a “WG,” which, when translated, stands for “living community.”This is just a fancy name for a shared apartment.I live with two other 23 year olds who did not know each other until they lived together (the norm among WGs) and maintain their own schedules.It is really wonderful, though, because I am again in an atmosphere I feel completely at ease in:one with young people living their own life and doing things their own way.This is, of course, the atmosphere I have lived in for the last four years and I feel truly liberated to again be in this situation.What makes it 100 times better, though, is that I can walk within 20/25 minutes to almost anywhere I’d want to be and since I have a bike I can get anywhere even more quickly.I am no longer bonded by the tram and buses.Freedom tastes oh, so sweet.
Of course lots of little things happen to me every day and changes are going on constantly.The weather is finally waking from its slumber and I even ventured outside today without a coat.People are again returning in hoards to the banks of the Weser River and enjoying a beer, pizza or simply sunbathing.I now live a 10 minute walk from the Weser and I, too, am enjoying its banks through morning runs (yes, I am actually disciplining myself to do this!Trust me, I’m more surprised than you!) or afternoon walks.It is pure pleasure.And, of course, my German is constantly changing and almost always progressing (there are moments where I am convinced I am digressing), and I am able to talk about more and more subjects.There are still many, many, challenges for me in German and being at my internship has required a whole new vocabulary, but I am proud to say and I should not deny that my German is improving.I am very proud of how far I have come, but sometimes still feel daunted by how much more I could learn.That is, however, the nature of any language, so I have to constantly remind myself not to be too hard on myself!
In officially less than four months I will be back in the United States and I honestly can’t quite describe how that feels.Four months is longer than I was in Ireland two years ago and as the last 7 months has shown me, a lot more can change.Moving back to the US will hold even more changes, but for now I am focusing on enjoying how my world in Bremen changes before my eyes and do my best to keep up with it and enjoy.
Words are great, but sometimes I just want to watch...just sit back. Thank goodness CNN.com has videos as well as reports. Consider this my gift to the visual learner in all of you. The following are a selection of my favorite photos or memories from the last seven months.
Welcome to Bremen, Meaghan.
Schnoor Viertel, Bremen
Summer.
High flying.
Brouwerij (Brewery) 't IJ, Amsterdam.
Facts of the Life: Northern Germany is completely flat; German trains go fast; Sunsets will always be beautiful.
Munich, Bavaria
Manchmal ein bisschen Spaß ist in Ordnung...Sometimes fun ist just necessary.
Some traditions just don't die...even after 800 years--Freimarkt in Bremen
Art takeover in historic Berlin building.
Christmas Markt in Bremen, in front of Town Hall
The real reason I traveled to Nuremberg for the Christmas Markt--Lebkuchen.
Icy Hamburg.
Hamburg Town Hall and Christmas Markt
Old and just unendingly charming. Milan, Italy.
Turino, Italy
Sometimes wonderful things happen and you get visitors.
Then sometimes your brother flys from Los Angeles.
And then sometimes you're the luckiest little American in all of Germany.
There, now you know what my life has looked like. :)
Reading through my own blog (which I should do more often because I always find typos), I have realized that there is a serious lack of “daily life” details. I have written here a few times that I don’t just travel and have fun and that I actually do spend my time in other, valuable manners, but I haven’t actually given proof of that. The number one tip for job-applicants is to not tell, but to show, your skills at an interview. If this were an interview I would probably have not convinced you all of my “Not Just Fun” assertion. Therefore, I’d like to fill you all in on an extremely enlightening and worthwhile part of my university phase in Germany.
As a participant in my program I am obligated to complete 40 hours of community service. Considering what the country of Germany is giving to every member of my 75-person program, I find this little extra assignment completely reasonable. After easy completion of my 40 hours, I am so happy this portion of our side of the program exists, as it was easily the most fulfilling thing I have done in Germany since arriving.
With the help of my area representative, I heard about a soup kitchen run out of the kitchen of a local church on the south side of Bremen. After contacting and meeting the woman who started and to this day heads the non-profit, named “The Bremen Soup Angels (Die Bremer Suppen Engel),” it was agreed that I’d spend approximately 7 hours a week a the soup kitchen: Three hours on Monday morning helping to prepare the food and four hours Friday afternoon helping to distribute the food.
Like most soup kitchens, Suppen Engel prepares food for homeless or people in need. What makes Suppen Engel special and unique, in my opinion, is the fact that they go to the people instead of the people coming to them. How?, may you ask. Simple—Bikes. In Bremen, like in many cities across Europe, bikes are the preferred form of transportation. That apparently applies also to carrying almost 40 liters of boiling-hot soup, a trash bag full of rolls, a Tupperware crate full of buttered and meated- or cheesed-bread, a container of fresh vegetable salad, a container of fresh fruit salad and multiple thermoses of hot water and coffee. The bikes have been retrofitted with large metal baskets attached to the front wheels and then special little trailers have been outfitted to the bikes. It is truly an impressive setup and on my first day after having to ride a multiple-digit-kilogram contraption, my appreciation for the effort of the organization and those involved increased 10 fold. I think riding that bike for the twenty-or-less minutes required to go from Suppen Engel to the middle of the Bremen is a better workout than riding my bike through the pancake-flat streets of Bremen for the entire day. It was tough.
My morning duties included, mostly, cutting endless peppers, tomatoes, heads of lettuce, radishes, bean sprouts, spices, and you-name-it obscure vegetables for the green salad. The production in the kitchen of the church where Suppen Engel cooks is a very well oiled machine: One person cuts vegetables, such as huge cantaloupe-sized spheres of celery (I had never seen celery like this before), Brussels sprouts or broccoli, for the soup; one person works on the fruit salad; two or more people smear bread with butter (the amount of which I still find completely unnecessary) then add cold cuts or cheese; another helps me with the veggie salad and then there are always the floaters who grab a knife and chop-chop as fast as they can. In a matter of three hours all the afore-mentioned food is made, including a dessert on some days. This impressive operation happens four times a week and is all finished by 1:15 in time for the Bike Riders and Co., to dive into the somewhat hidden world of the Bremen homeless people.
Bremen is a city with between 500,000 and 600,000 thousands people. From this number, 600 are homeless. In Germany, if you are a citizen or legal resident of the country, you do not need to go hungry or be homeless. Every single legal German homeless person receives money once a month. Of course, these recipients should not be doing their grocery shopping at Whole Pay Check…uh, I mean Whole Foods, (which, by the way, is not in Germany), but they could theoretically make it by. While I did not ask any of the homeless people I met what their story was, I was able to gain from my fellow volunteers that Germany is plagued by the same poverty causing ways as America: Drugs, alcohol, joblessness and usually a dash of bad luck. Luckily, organizations like Suppen Engel and others are there to fill in the gaps.
My Friday afternoons spent standing around in front of the Bremen main train station, helping between 100 and 200 Bremen residents receive their perhaps only warm and nutritious meal of the day, were very rewarding and surprisingly so. I would not have ever expected to enjoy it as much as I did. One might have expected my experience and time with the homeless community of Bremen to be relatively sad, but it surprisingly was not. Sobering and humbling, it most certainly was, but not really sad. The people were always happy to see us and always very curious about why me and another PPPler, Nick, were volunteering. They were especially delighted and curious to meet an American, and a young woman at that, and were always filled with questions. I answered the same questions what seemed like to no end, but I also realized I did not mind. The people were truly enjoyable company, and furthermore, a huge part of everyday life in Germany is not running away from the fact that I’m American. I am doing everything I can to not stand out as much and mesh into the German society, but I also have realized I need to be open to the natural questions that pop up as a result of my nationality, and more importantly, not take offense to even the least thought-out questions. I suspect the homeless community is more cut off than any other from this cultural enrichment. I feel satisfied to think I fulfilled my volunteer roll in a slightly different way, but in the best way I could.
Unfortunately, now that my internship has started, I no longer have time to go to Bremer Suppen Engel, but it’s something I would like to continue if I ever find that I have a random Friday free. Everyone from the homeless community to the older woman to bosses people around and cleans up the kitchen seemed very accepting of me. I felt totally free through this experience to really experience and observe a new part of Bremen and also just be myself. I have never done anything quite like Bremer Suppen Engle and I believe it was something I needed to experience. This whole year revolves around experiencing new things and doing out of the ordinary things. My time at Suppen Engle was most definitely out of the ordinary and gave my ever-churning brain even more food for thought.
