Being an American in Germany can sometimes be a very, very funny experience. Being new, the past month has had countless introductions. More than once I have left these introductions smiling to myself because of something the other person said, usually about who "We Americans Are." Sometimes the comments are thought provoking, but most of the time they are silly and light-hearted. Here are my favorite direct and subliminal comments I have heard and/or noticed about America:
1. "Americans eat a lot of steak." Since arriving in Germany I have not eaten a single piece of steak, but I sure have heard a lot about how much steak Americans supposedly eat. Perhaps I brought this upon myself because during my first night with my host family my host mother asked me what my favorite meals are. Considering I'm more of a sweets-fanatic, I did not have a prepared answered. Instead I answered simply, like a good, meat-eating, red-blooded American: "Steak." I don't think my host parents were surprised. This past Saturday we were again, for some reason, talking about steak and I felt the need to defend America's steak consumption. I explained that I don't miss steak very much because my family eats more chicken than steak. I tried to emphasize that chicken is our more commonly eaten meat and that we really do not eat burgers and hot dogs for every meal. My host mother then countered that my family is "not a normal American family." From this I'm lead to believe that my American family is far from normal because we have a white-meat and red-meat diet. This just tickles me, but it's also not the end of my steak conversations. On Sunday, I went to an outdoor art show with my host mother. While we were there we ate grilled bratwursts and cake (OK, really, Germany? And you're making assumptions about MY food??) and talked with some of the other women there. One woman was from the Philippines, but has lived in Germany for many years. When she learned that I am American, literally the first thing she said to me was, "Oh, Americans, you eat a lot of steak!" Cue the ever-safe smile and nod.
2. "Meaghan Britain from America." I am making an assumption here, but it seems uncommon in Germany for someone to have a last name that relates to their family origin. This of course is not true in America, and I am living proof. I support my point further by pointing out that in my high school there were also Englands and Irelands. Anyway, more than once when I have introduced myself I have heard the line, "Oh, Meaghan Britain from America." Yes, that's right, I'm American, but actually English and Irish. Is that a problem? Just like the steak comments, these comments just tickle me.
3. Fear of peanut butter. Perhaps one of the most internationally loved exports of Germany is the delicious chocolate Nutella, which is labeled with the wonderful euphemism "hazelnut spread." Come on, Germany, who are you fooling? One look at the brown goo and it screams "chocolate." I know chocolate when I taste it and I'm officially calling you out. A few of my friends and I have become quite spirited when we talk about Nutella because it is definitely the German's peanut butter, and yet many Germans treat peanut butter as if it were radio active. I haven't had peanut butter in over a month and I miss it. It's not that you can't buy it here, but whoever heard of the supposedly "Made in America" Alwood brand of peanut butter? That's just not JIF and choosey moms would not choose Alwood. When I told my host mother about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches she asked me if they were for breakfast. I supposed that would be a logical guess, but I laughed and explained that no, we eat the sugary combination for lunch. Her retort was, "If you eat too much sugar you're going to have to go the dentist." If you eat too much Nutella you're going to have to go the dentist too.
4. English is cool. I can definitely see the logic behind this thought--In the US it is also really cool to know another language. Growing up speaking English, though, it is sometimes a strange idea to think of my language as cool. When I'm struggling to learn a new German past tense passive form I get a certain amount of perverse pleasure to think of how hard and random English pronunciations are, but I certainly have never thought of it as cool. On Friday, I went to Viertel Fest, a music street festival. After one of the (amazing) acts, the singers told the crowd it was someone's birthday. Just as I was gearing up to sing "Happy Birthday" in German, the crowd broke out into a jubilant English "Happy Birthday." This made me a little sad. It is so interesting that here it is generally considered cool to know English. Even more surprising to me was that many of the German bands at Viertel Fest sang in English.
5. "American girls have really high voices." I do not remember where I heard this comical misconception, but all I have to say in response is, NO. This is just not true. It is possible an American said this, but I still strongly disagree.
6. Food packaging with the Stars and Stripes. What better way to sell a construed American image than by selling already prepared hamburgers, sesame seed bun and all, packaged and ready to be eaten. There are many different products that sport the Stars and Strips, such as the peanut butter jars. The most amusing and blatant message, however, was the hamburgers. If you're wondering how I feel about this, please refer to 1. I think international food sales could be a good testing ground for the success of subliminal messages. I'd be interested to meet the type of person who likes these burgers...
The next one is easily my favorite:
7. "All Americans are good at volleyball." If I am meant to be a representative of American young adults and what a typical American is like, the previous statement would be proven false in every way possible. Not only am I a terrible athlete, but I also hate volleyball. Yes, I know roughly how to play it, but please, please don't ask me to play volleyball. In high school gym class I felt like the volleyball unit was infinitely longer than the one unit I actually liked--badminton. Badminton doesn't leave bruises on my arms and is a lot kinder to the less athletic among us. When I have to play volleyball I feel like Princess Mia in "The Princess Diaries" when she has to play softball and she pleads to be excused, explaining that she is more the "yoga, rock-climbing type girl." Really, I'd play a lot of things before volleyball--even frisbee. The comment about volleyball is even funnier to me because my high school didn't even have a volleyball team. Just as it's not fair to generalize the German culture, I also shouldn't speak for all America, but from my 22 years of experience, not all Americans can play volleyball and this one American certainly would prefer we never play volleyball.
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